Gurudev, How should I forgive someone who caused me a lot of harm?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar :
Why do you want to forgive someone? so that you can feel free, isn't it?Anger is punishment on us for others mistakes. We need to forgive those who harm us for our own peace of mind and not for anyone else.
If someone else has made a mistake, forgive and forget. If you have made a mistake, ask for forgiveness and move on. Don't get stuck! Feel free!
In life people do mistakes. But we can’t gallop on others' mistakes all the time. That will be our mistake. We should learn to forgive others & move forward.
Forgiving someone shows one’s compassion. Asking for forgiveness shows that you recognize your mistakes, and that you resolve not to repeat them in the future.
Now to say, ‘Only if he/she asks me for forgiveness will I forgive them’, this is of a lower form of forgiveness.
The highest form of forgiveness is to realize that the other committed a mistake out of ignorance, and having a sense of compassion for them.
Forgiving others with a sense of compassion is the best form of forgiveness. Cultivating this sense of forgiveness in oneself is a mark of being noble in character. The first to apologize is the bravest,The first to forgive is the strongest,The first to forget is the happiest! Your forgiveness should be such that the person who is being forgiven does not even know that you are forgiving them.
Lastly, remember that Forgiving is not only difficult, it is almost impossible as long as you think that someone is a culprit. But if you see that person, whomsoever you want to forgive, not as a culprit but as a victim of situations, a victim of ignorance, or just a postman to deliver what was due to you, you don’t need to forgive them. They just simply disappear from your domain.
