Guruji satsang - Grace

How To Attract Grace Into My Life?

 ~ Sri Sri 

Whenever there is victory, it is due to some grace. Whether it is victory in sports, in a lottery, in studies, in a competition, or in politics – all of it happens through grace alone. When a person forgets that and gets into ego, then it results in their downfall. So always remember that whenever and wherever there is victory, it is through grace.

What is Grace?

There is a commonly-used phrase – “God's Grace”. What does this mean?

Whenever you achieve something very significant that felt like it was beyond your capacity, which was worth having, but came to you not by your doing alone, that is Grace.

You feel, “I am not capable or qualified for this, yet I got this”.

When you recognize the Grace in your life, you feel very grateful, because you feel you have been bestowed with things that you were not worthy of. And this is the language of a wise person. A wise person never says, "Oh, I earned it. This is my right". When you think it is your right, you are getting what you got because of your right – there is no gratitude. Gratefulness is there when you feel that you got this not by your effort but because it was bestowed on you by Grace, as a gift. That brings gratefulness.

What is the Cause of Grace?

Grace is causeless and unmerited. It is not obtained through some merit or cause. Grace is received without any conditions. It is not that only after doing something you will receive Grace. If so, then that is not Grace – that is business. You are blessed with Grace just like that – without any conditions whatsoever. Grace is always there, just become aware of it and know that you are being showered with Grace.

Grace is something that can go inside even a closed purse. You don’t need to pay money to receive Grace. And if someone tells you that Grace will come to you only by opening your purse and giving money, then know that something is wrong for sure. God always blesses you in abundance. You need not pay money to receive it.

How Do I Attract More Grace in My Life?

The more grateful we become, the more we experience Grace in life. A mind that is complaining all the time cannot experience Grace. But one who is thankful and contented experiences more Grace in life.

 

We say that we want blessings and Grace. Blessings are available in plenty, but if your vessel is small, then what to do?

If you bring a tea cup and say, “Give me two liters of milk in this”, how can two liters of milk fit in the little cup? The cup is small and you are asking for too much. You need to bring a vessel with the capacity of three liters and then I can give you two liter or three liter, whatever you want.

So, you must remember that whatever you get is your capacity, and if you want to get more, then you must expand your capacity. When your capacity increases, more will definitely come to you.

How Do I Expand My Capacity to Receive More Grace?

Just having the intention to increase one’s capacity itself does half the job.

Be natural, simple, and humble. Humility from within naturally increases one’s capacity.

Meditation, spiritual practices, service to society and knowledge.

Shatt Sampatti (the Six Wealths or Six-fold Virtues)

Sama (calmness of mind) 

Dama (self-control or restraint of the senses) 

Uparati (satiety) 

Titiksha (power of endurance) 

Shraddha (faith) 

Samadhana (equanimity or one-pointedness of the mind)

This is what you must focus on increasing more in your life. By enhancing these virtues, your capacity to receive blessings will increase.

Guruji satsang - relationship

Secrets to a Successful Relationship

~ Sri Sri 

What happens when you fall in love? After a while, the soap opera begins, you start demanding. When you start demanding, the love diminishes. The joy fades away. 

So then you say, “Oh I have made a mistake in this relationship.” Then there’s struggle and pain to get out of that relationship. After getting out of it, you get into one more; and the same story repeats.

Love is essential in relationships, not mere attraction. In love, there is submission. This is the difference between love and attraction. Though attraction forms the first step, you cannot remain on the first step for too long. You have to move on to the next. That is love.

What is that you want to know about relationships? It is really to see how it can be long-lasting. Isn’t it? 

Three things are essential in any relationship: 

1. Right perception,

2. Right observation, and 

3. Right expression. 

Often people say nobody understands them. Instead of saying, “No one understands me,” you can say that you have not expressed properly. If you speak Russian to a Spanish, they won’t understand definitely. Right perception can happen when you see yourself from the shoes of the other person and look at the situation.

Right perception, and then right observation. You may have perceived right but how do you react? How do you feel within yourself? Observing your own mind is the second important aspect. This observation within you: observation of sensation, observation of tendencies, observation of patterns within you is also essential.

Perception of the other; observation of oneself. and then, right expression. Expressing ourselves in the right manner.

What we learn in life

The whole life is a lesson of just these three things: perception, observation, and expression. Every mistake you make is really not a mistake; it’s a learning process of the three vital aspects of life. 

Perception needs to be expanded. Don’t just see someone from outside. If someone is grumpy or a little finicky, we hold them responsible for their behaviour. But if we see from a wider perspective, many aspects will come up: that person is grumpy for some reason. That is reflecting in the relationship, widening our lens of perception. Not just accusing someone for what they did, but rather than accommodating them and seeing them at a larger picture. This will help in the relationship. This is the first secret. 

Don’t just give, allow to give also

Second aspect is to give. At the same time allow others to give also.

Suppose you are doing everything but you don’t let the other person to do something in return, you are taking them away from their self-worth. Sometimes people say, “Oh! See, I did so much but still that person doesn’t love me.” Why? Because they feel uncomfortable. Love is when there is an exchange. And that can happen when you give them an opportunity to do something for you also.

This needs a little skill. We have to be skillful in making the other also contribute without demanding. The only way we know to get someone to do something for us is by demand. 

This has to be done more skillfully. In a relationship, see that the other also contributes to your life so that they don’t feel completely worthless. For love to blossom, self-worth is essential. This is the second important secret. 

Don’t crowd in, move back to be close

The third aspect of relationship is giving enough space. When you love someone, you don’t give them any breathing space and this can be suffocating. Suffocation destroys love. Respect each other’s space. Take some time off. 

The ancient people knew this. They had this practise of sending the wives to their mother’s place for one month in a year. That one month created so much longing.

For love to blossom, there needs to be longing, and longing needs a little space. If you destroy longing, if you don’t allow longing in your relationship then love does not grow. The charm is lost.

Service is an essential ingredient for a successful relationship. 

Treat love as a dessert

And the fourth aspect is that a relationship should be treated as a dessert, not as a main course. If your life is aimed at some goal, if there is some goal in your life, some aim in your life, then you move in the direction and relationship will move along. If all your focus is just on your relationship, it will not work. And it doesn’t work. You can’t have a dessert for your main course. 

Have a goal in life, have an aim to do some service. Sharing and serving would enhance your ability to love, your ability to accept. And if you have that as a goal and both together move in that direction, there will be no problem.

Service is an essential ingredient for a successful relationship. And if the relationship comes from the space of giving rather than need, it is a good relationship. 

Often we get bored. When you’re centered, and let go of your feverishness, you’re not bored with yourself; then your charm is long-lasting. That is the secret of being centered, being connected with the self deep within us.

Ananda once asked Buddha, “Buddha, for 40 years I’ve been watching you day and night. But what is it? I can’t get over you. Everyday you’re more charming. Every moment I see you, you’re ever new.” 

That is the nature of our consciousness. Mind is not a stagnant lake; it is a flowing river, fast-flowing river. So when we float with the river, when we are in the moment—every moment—not just brood over the past or anxious about the future, we are ever new.

Guruji satsang - Forgiveness

Gurudev, How should I forgive someone who caused me a lot of harm?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar :

Why do you want to forgive someone? so that you can feel free, isn't it?Anger is punishment on us for others mistakes. We need to forgive those who harm us for our own peace of mind and not for anyone else.

If someone else has made a mistake, forgive and forget. If you have made a mistake, ask for forgiveness and move on. Don't get stuck! Feel free!

In life people do mistakes. But we can’t gallop on others' mistakes all the time. That will be our mistake. We should learn to forgive others & move forward.

Forgiving someone shows one’s compassion. Asking for forgiveness shows that you recognize your mistakes, and that you resolve not to repeat them in the future.

Now to say, ‘Only if he/she asks me for forgiveness will I forgive them’, this is of a lower form of forgiveness.

The highest form of forgiveness is to realize that the other committed a mistake out of ignorance, and having a sense of compassion for them.

Forgiving others with a sense of compassion is the best form of forgiveness. Cultivating this sense of forgiveness in oneself is a mark of being noble in character. The first to apologize is the bravest,The first to forgive is the strongest,The first to forget is the happiest! Your forgiveness should be such that the person who is being forgiven does not even know that you are forgiving them.

Lastly, remember that Forgiving is not only difficult, it is almost impossible as long as you think that someone is a culprit. But if you see that person, whomsoever you want to forgive, not as a culprit but as a victim of situations, a victim of ignorance, or just a postman to deliver what was due to you, you don’t need to forgive them. They just simply disappear from your domain.

Guruji satsang - Faith and Devotion

Faith and Devotion

~ Sri Sri

 Faith is the subject of head. Devotion is the subject of heart. And meditation is of both and connects both.

A mature intellect is devoted. A mature heart is full of knowledge. And meditation matures your intellect as well as your heart.

Mr. John Pb: But people with good intellect seem to have less faith.

Sri Sri: They have more faith in the matter. Head puts the faith in the matter more and heart puts the faith in the abstract more.

It's next to impossible that one can be in total lack of faith or total lack of devotion. It's only a question of balance.

Do you have all three?

Then you are very lucky!After 8.4 million bodies, the human body is produced.From bacteria, birds, animals, etc. Then 8.4 million lives later, human life comes.Adi Shankara also said that human birth is very difficult to get. After the birth of a person, the desire to want to follow the spiritual path is also very difficult to get. Very few people understand this. And even after getting this desire to follow the spiritual path, only a few get the opportunity to do it.Because these people don't get access to knowledge.This knowledge is not available to everyone who seeks to follow the spiritual path. You can pray, meditate....Their prayers reach the goal and people receive some blessings.

Blessings come to everyone, no doubt, but Knowledge, the right path and liberation remain a distant dream for them. They are sitting hoping that one day they will go to heaven. These souls are trapped in desire and fear. It is important to have a spiritual teacher who will open up Knowledge.So, 

1. birth of a human, 

2. aspiration to follow the spiritual path and 

3. accessible path (Maha Purusha Sannidho - receiving a Spiritual Teacher).

These three things are rare and difficult to reach.

If you have all three, you are very lucky.

🌸Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar